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Support for moms who are experiencing Perinatal Depression in a non-judgmental group where everything discussed is met with unconditional love and empathy Provide support through Support groups, whatsapp groups (run 24/7), facebook page with useful resources
Emotional changes that are distorted: out of proportion in:-
duration (2 weeks +)
degree that’s disabling, interfering with normal life
Imbalance of mood messenger chemicals (amines) – ‘pathological’ or ‘clinical’ Both anxiety and depression respond to antidepressants
Affects body, mind and spirit
Physically – too tired or
Mentally – can’t concentrate to work properly Spiritually – struggle with faith, Bible reading and prayer
Exercise: What would hold you back from seeking medical help?
‘Good’ reasons:- ‘Bad’ reasons:-
What are the symptoms?
Anxiety and depression – separately or mixed
x
Anxiety x
x
x Depression
Emotional:
Tearfulness, despair, lack of hope, lack of feelings (including lack of love for friends & family as well as God; emptiness (includes absence of ‘depression’ in some – more common for men)
Lack of interest or pleasure in all or most activities,
Anxious, nervous, agitated, restless, irritable,
Fearful – of the future and of people, withdrawing from them,
Guilt and feeling worthless, self-preoccupied
Over-sensitivity – paranoid tendency
Mental:
Poor concentration and ability to make decisions (useful check what length article can read/take in)
Slowed up thinking
Detachment – depersonalization, derealization
Obsessive thoughts
Phobias
Recurrent thoughts of death &/or suicidal ideas
Physical:
Sleep disturbance, Insomnia or hypersomnia (especially early morning waking, dreading the day ahead & often improved mood later in day)
Appetite change, 3 Kg + weight gain or loss
Low energy, persistent tiredness, or slowed up movement,
Various aches and pains, feeling dizzy or faint, disturbed bodily functions and sensations
Spiritual impact:
for a Christian,
Loss of sense of believing in God or his love, presence, purpose for life or forgiveness (unshakable guilt feelings),
Prayer difficult and less meaningful – loss of sense of God’s presence – need to cry out to God using Psalms
Bible-reading impaired by poor concentration – less solace from scripture- reading – need to read with a friend
Extreme of depression: psychotic with beliefs that are distorted to extent that out of touch with reality
Extreme of anxiety: self-harm, as reduces anxiety level and re-establishes contact with reality
NB No two people will be identical, but common core of familiar symptoms)
biochemical make-up – prone to recurrent depression or Bipolar Disorder – extreme mood swinging (high and low)
Nurture – (or lack of it!) early separation, parental deprivation: ‘learned helplessness’, abuse (emotional, physical or sexual), parental attitudes e.g. unrealistic expectations (‘failing’)
Physiological change
glands e.g. thyroid, , post-viral
hormone swings e.g. adolescence, post-natal, menopausal
exhaustion e.g. from sleep loss (or can cause high mood swing, then low) post-viral, M.E. (myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome) Seasonal Affective Disorder in (SADS)
Some things our response can change through how we regard them:
Stressful life situations or events even pleasant ones eg marriage! Exams, transition periods, uncertainty over future. Loss e.g. of peer group, bereavement, loss or lack of pregnancy, unemployment, retirement
Ongoing loneliness & isolation– including cut off by deafness etc. Awareness of futility in life, reality of ‘down-hill path’ with age Suppressed guilt or anger, resentment, disappointment
Christian faith helps through
Realistic expectations – hope not fulfilled in this world God’s trustworthy promises
God’s undeserved love and grace
BUT can make life harder through
Realistic aspect to guilt as feel ungrateful and unloving
Raised expectations particularly from ‘triumphalist’ preaching Guilt at ‘letting the side down’ by poor witness
Caring for those who are resisting the gospel
Satan’s buffeting
And can be aggravated by
inexperience of managing stress recognizing warning signs
Exercise:
Think of the last time something ‘got you down’ – what were your thoughts?
Positive:
Negative:
How do we tackle depression and anxiety?
What’s led up to it – humanly and spiritually?
pray from God’s word eg Psalm 139: v23,24, for an open heart and mind pray for grace to keep going & submission to God’s will
General practical things
Sleep improvement / relaxation time / more company Exercise / fitness / regular food
Tackle specific stresses
Smallest step first / make a realistic plan that extends beyond depressed state
Consider immediate ‘heart problems’ & attitudes e.g. Hurts not forgiven, anger/resentment
Guilt repented but not released (Psalm 103:12) ‘expectations’ ‘entitlement’ pride
– need to repent, accept God’s will and loving nature, despite suffering experienced
Above all don’t go it alone:
Talk to someone else – group leader, friend, GP Cry out to Jesus when in pain, using Psalms.
Accept any help on offer – antidepressants, psychological help or other therapy,
alongside Christian counseling and fellowship
Once recovering, protection through learning about at a deeper level:
God’s character – his love, grace towards us and personal care: He loves us! Self-esteem/Pride issues – who are we serving and why are we doing it? God’s sovereignty –confidence in his awesome power: He is in control!
and fourthly, Get to grips with a Biblical view of suffering
How can we help others?
‘A trouble shared is a trouble halved’ – just expressing feelings helps Especially true if shared with someone showing the fruits of the spirit Listen sympathetically, read the Bible & pray
Conclusion
What are we aiming for?
Not a struggle-free life – can promise you will never have that as a Christian! But – growing security, lived out fully in strong assurance that,
whatever the future holds, as a very old hymn puts it, ‘It is well with my soul’ :
1 ‘When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea-billows roll; whatever my lot You have taught me to say,
‘It is well, it is well with my soul’. Horatio G Spafford(1828-88) We are safe for eternity – and nothing can matter in comparison! Heb 12:11
1 Book: ‘What’s So Amazing About Grace’: Philip Yancey
2 Book: ‘The Freedom Of Self-Forgetfulness’: Timothy Keller
Before you post that blog, Facebook status, or tweet, what would be some indicators you might want to consider first? In such an instance, I want to offer 12 brief questions to ask yourself. You might think of them as indicator lights, the kind a pilot checks before taking off.
1) Will it edify? Or significantly inform a useful conversation? (Mk 12:29–31; 1 Cor 14:26)
Try to think of what will edify others. All we do is in obedience to the command to love God and others. How will it increase their knowledge, or faith, or love? Are you accurately representing any positions you disagree with? How sure am I of my facts? Trivialities hopefully fill up our lives less than they do so much of the Internet. John Piper has said that “One of the great uses of Twitter and Facebook will be to prove on the last day that our prayerlessness was not from lack of time!” He’s right.
2) Will it easily be misunderstood? (Jn 13:7; 16:12)
The privacy of a personal conversation limits misunderstanding. In public posts, some things will sound one way to those who know us, and another to those who don’t. Negative assessments are often best shared privately, or not at all. How many of us have learned at our workplace that email is a terrible way to share any kind of negative comments? And, thinking of more public postings, ask yourself: are there reasons why I may not be a good person to speak on certain matters?
3) Will it reach the right audience? (Mark 4:9 et al.)
If you’re correcting someone, should the audience for that correction be wider—or more narrow? Is that audience correctable? When you use social media, consider who is listening to what you’re saying. What if everyone in this room came over and eavesdropped on your conversations after the service today? Yet we do this all the time online.
4) Will it help my evangelism? (Col. 1:28–29)
Is what you’re about to communicate going to help or hinder those you’re evangelizing? Is it likely to diminish the significance (to them) of your commitment to the gospel, or enhance it?
5) Will it bring about unnecessary and unhelpful controversy? (Titus 3:9)
Think carefully about controversy. The line between vigorous exchange of ideas and a kind of social war is sometimes thinner than we may think. What is this particular controversy that I would be contributing to good for? When is it unhelpful? How much time will it take up? Is this an unavoidable primary issue, or a matter about which disagreement is fairly unimportant? Will this controversy play into any other division that threatens the unity of our local church?
6) Will it embarrass or offend? (1 Cor. 12:21–26)
Will anyone be embarrassed or offended by what you’re saying? I understand that the mere fact that something is offensive doesn’t mean that saying it is wrong, but simply, we must be sure the offense is worth it.
7) Will it convey care? (1 Cor. 12:21–26)
Will those mainly concerned appreciate your motives? Privacy in communication conveys care, an honoring of the person receiving the information. You like the fact that your doctor’s report is private; but you don’t mind that the sale at the store is advertised. If someone would rather be addressed in person, why not do that?
8) Will it make people better appreciate someone else? (1 Cor. 12:21–26)
Point out God’s grace in others’ lives, ministries, arguments, etc. Highlighting something that will build others’ esteem for someone else glorifies God and encourages others to see His work in them.
9) Is it boasting? (Prov. 27:2)
Does what you communicate online draw attention to yourself more than your topic? How could that be spiritually harmful to you or others? Will it leave people with a more accurate understanding of you? Are you simply being tempted to draw attention to yourself, or to what you know? When was the last time you encouraged others by sharing something embarrassing or even sinful about yourself?
10) Is the tone appropriate? (2 John 1, 12; Col. 4:6; Eph. 4:29; 2 Tim 2:24–25)
Will people understand and be encouraged in the truth that you communicate? How important is the tone to your message being rightly received? Is it evidently kind, patient, and gentle? The literal tone of your voice and the look on your face fill out so much of what you mean. In a personal conversation, you can more quickly understand that something needs clarifying and clarify it. The Internet doesn’t sanctify anger or frustration.
11) Is it wrong to say nothing? (Romans 1:14)
Do you have an opportunity or even a responsibility to communicate something? Some of you do this for your job. Have you established a “relationship” with readers, friends, and followers online that would expect you to comment on a particular issue or situation? Our freedom of speech is a wonderful stewardship! We want to use it well and responsibly. I guess there are even some jobs that aren’t worth sacrifices they call for, aren’t there?
12) What do others advise? (Prov. 11:14; 15:22; 24:6)
When you are about to communicate something you know others will find provocative, do you have good sounding-boards to try to help you estimate the response? Do you take time to consider before you publish? Speed of response is both an ability of the Internet and a temptation to speak too quickly (contra James 1:19; Prov. 10:19; 14:29; 16:32; 17:27). Remember, you will give an account for every word you type (Mt 12:36). Does saying things at a “safe distance” from people tempt us to say things we wouldn’t say to their face?
Perhaps you could write down these questions and ask a friend to look over your social media with these concerns in mind. Or even, ask someone who you know disagrees with you on some issue you’ve posted on or written about and see what they would say. So many of us might be able to improve our care. Can you imagine how much care the apostles took when writing their letters?
We like to measure and compare things. We compare the coffee at one café to another. We compare one internet provider or phone plan to another. We compare one school or university to another. But we also like to measure and compare ourselves in relation to other people. At work or in our study we will compare ourselves and our performance to our peers. Trawling through social media, we can’t help but compare our life to others’ (or to what they want us to think their life is like!). Maybe you are someone who consciously compares your appearance to other people. We compare ourselves to other people all the time.
We even compare our Christianity. How often do you find yourself measuring your faith and godliness in relation to that of a fellow brother or sister—or even an unbeliever’s? How often do you compare yourself to another believer by the church that they go to or the amount of ministry activities that they do?
But when we compare ourselves to other people we fall into two big problems: comparing down, and comparing up.
Comparing down
When we compare down we elevate ourselves above someone else; we compare ourselves to them favourably. In the Bible we see this play out in Jesus’ parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector. This Pharisee is a classic example of someone who compares down, and as he prays we are left in no doubt as to what—or who—he measures himself against: “God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector” (Luke 18:11).
By elevating yourself above others, you look down on them. You use a person whom you judge to be ‘worse’ as your measure. This stems from our pride and our over-inflated view of ourselves and our superiority. It’s the sentence or the thought that starts “At least I’m not as bad as…”. We do it because it makes us feel better and gives us a greater sense of self-worth, but it is dangerous and wrong. Jesus had some stern words about the Pharisee and taught that this proud attitude was not the path for those who want to be right with God (Luke 18:14). Let us heed this warning.
Comparing up
On the flipside, we also compare up. This is where we compare and see others as being greater than we are, or even the ultimate. A fellow human being becomes the benchmark we must reach. The Bible speaks sharply about how, in our rebellion against God, we humans have idolized and worshipped creation—including fellow humans—rather than God (Rom 1:21-23). When we compare up, we search for the ideal in the creation and not the Creator.
How often have you said or thought something along the lines of “If only I was like….” or “If only I had…”? Comparing up shows our lack of contentment and ungratefulness towards God for how he has made us according to his good design. It also shows us where we find our value: in someone or something other than God. Rather than promoting an attitude of thankfulness to God for how he has made us and the circumstances he has placed us in, we become jaded and dissatisfied with God as we chase what we have idolized.
Measuring and comparing ourselves against others, both favourably and unfavourably, hinders our trust in God.
The right measurement
When it comes to making comparisons with others, the bottom line that the Bible draws is: no-one and nothing can compare to God. When God addresses his people through the prophet Isaiah he says:
To whom will you liken me and make me equal, and compare me, that we may be alike? … Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. (Isaiah 46:5, 9b)
The true measurement for all things is in relation to God. The humbling truth of the gospel is that in our sinfulness none of us can reach the perfect standard of God. We fall dreadfully short because of our sin; we are not even close. But the liberating truth of the gospel is that Jesus is the ultimate one who doesn’t fall short of God. When we look to Jesus we see that the only standard and measurement that matters is who we are in Christ, not in relation to someone else. Through Christ’s finished work on the cross and his merits—not our own!—we can measure up to God.
Looking to Jesus gives us enormous comfort as we find our true self-worth in him, and leads us to far greater joy and humility than engaging in the fruitless exercise of comparing ourselves to other people.
So how can you fight the urge to compare yourself to other people? Here are three suggestions:
Fight grumbling with gratitude. Give thanks to God for how he has made you in his good design (Ps 139:14). Thank him for the circumstances that he has placed you in. Make gratitude a key part of your prayer life.
Fight jealousy with joy. Celebrate and rejoice in the diversity of gifted people who are members of the body of Christ (Rom 12:3-8). Rather than being jealous of a fellow brother or sister, give thanks for them and praise God for the unique way he has made them. Find a Christian and tell them what you are thankful for about the way God has made them.
Fight discontentment with delight. Find your contentment in your loving Father and all the riches he has given to you in Christ. Have a go at memorizing Ephesians 1:3-14, and marvel at all that God has given us. Or, if you’re looking for something a bit shorter but no less significant, memorize the comforting words of the Psalmist in Psalm 73:25-26.
When I was a young boy, I used to love sci-fi movies. Especially the ones that had a lot to do with time travel. The idea of building a time machine and going into the future or back in time really intrigued me. I was fascinated about what the future would look like – flying cars, high rise buildings, fashion – all exciting. But what caught my eye the most was the ability to go back in time and fix stuff. I remember one such movie, Back to the Future. In one of the (many) sequels, they had to go back to the past to rectify something that had gone wrong. Biff, one of the bad characters in the movie, had found a book of all the horse races and sports game results in the past. He then went (stole) on the time machine, went back in time, to give his younger self the book and get rich. Marty and Dr Emmet had to go back into past to stop old Biff (from the future) – giving young Biff (from the past) the book – confused? Yeah, I know.
Can you imagine the chance to go back in time and change something? A decision? A word? An event? So that you can fix the future. It is rather interesting isn’t it? Being able to go back and wipe your mistakes, so that you don’t get to live with the guilt or consequences of those mistakes. And sometimes it’s not really that far in the past – it could be last week, or last month or even this morning.
In Luke chapter 15, we are introduced to the story of the prodigal son. The son who told his father he wanted his inheritance today, so that he could go and squander it in wild living. What a bad, terrible mistake. This decision he took, to turn away from his father and his blessing, did not result in much, but dire consequences for him. He was stranded, alone and sought company from pigs (Luke 15:15-16). At the time of making the decisions, I’m sure it look like it was a good decision. Truth be told, we would also have the same temptation, given the chance. But reading the words he says in verse 17 of Luke 15, it looks like he could have done with a time machine, to transport him back in time and not make the same mistake he did. So that he could avoid the anguish, embarrassment and pain of what he was experiencing.
How many of us have gone through the same process? Where we make bad decisions, where we turn away from God and do our thing because it “looked and felt” like a good decisions at the time. The time where we are led by our sinful desires and they manifest into actions, words that hurt or destroy relationships, including ourselves. A time machine would be needed. I am sure King David would have thought the same, after he coveted Bathsheba, slept with her, killed her husband and lied about the whole thing (2 Samuel 11). What he would have done to go back in time and fix things – or at least warn his younger self not to walk around the palace on that day.
But we don’t have a time machine. The great ideas of the movies, unfortunately do not exist in reality and we have to face the challenges and consequences of the rebellion against God.
But the story does not end there….
Looking back at the prodigal son, when he came to his senses, he left the place of desolation that he was in sought after his father. He went back to his father to seek forgiveness and acceptance, even after all he had done (Luke 15: 18-25). To his surprise, the father welcomed him, embraced and treated him as if he never left. His father never stopped thinking about him, even after all this time. The son had rebelled, but the father forgave, accepted and loved him, despite what he had done.
And so with us, when we turn away from God. When we come back to him and seek him, he will forgive us, restore us and love us beyond our comprehension. And this love is not because we have dome some great deed, it is because of what Christ has done for us on the cross.
No matter how much you think you have sinned, how much you have rebelled against your father in heaven – taken his blessings and squandered them – he has the unending capacity and capability to forgive you. It matters not the sin you’ve committed, what matters is the greatness of God’s willingness and ability to forgive you every single time you turn to him. God is able to forgive, even our deepest darkest sin. So, if you are hiding, worried and embarrassed about what you’ve done to turn away from him, don’t hide, come to him, come back to God. Much like the prodigal son, when he sees you, he will lift his robes and run towards you, hug and kiss you and he will clothe you (Luke 15:20).
When I look at my past and the many times I have turn away from God and done my own thing, it’s hard to think of and live with the consequences, but what brings greater joy is that God was able to forgive me and restore me. That has far much more comfort and assurance than a time machine.
The stakes are high when we’re reading the Bible. We’re not just reading any old book—we’re dealing with God’s word, and what God says really matters. So what happens when I’m not sure I’ve read the Bible correctly? What happens when the person next to me is sure that I haven’t read it correctly? How can I know I’m right?
Firstly, it’s helpful to frame the question. Interpreting the Bible is a human activity within God’s economy. It’s something we do that fits within the broader context of what God is doing: the Father glorifying the Son in the Spirit by creating, upholding and perfecting the church.
Like all human activities, our biblical interpretation is affected by sin. As our faith is mixed with doubt, our works of service with selfishness, our knowledge with ignorance and error, so our interpretative zeal is mixed with sloth, our interpretative openness with prejudice, our interpretative insight with blindness. We cannot be justified on the basis of this activity. Our interpretation of the Bible is a human work: we cannot hold it up to God in the expectation that he will declare us ‘right’.
But there is good news! Through faith in Jesus Christ, there is blessing for “the one to whom God counts righteousness apart from works” (Rom 4:6). As with faith, works of service, and Christian knowledge, we depend on God’s merciful kindness in our interpretation of the Bible. We call on God to graciously forgive and accept us and our efforts—in the face of all their obvious inadequacy, in the name of Jesus Christ—and he is “a God ready to forgive” (Neh 9:17).
So God’s grace goes before and after all our efforts. Of course this is no reason not to strive to do as well as humanly possible—just the opposite! Grace puts us to work (Eph 2:8-10; Titus 2:11-14). What does it look like to pursue good biblical interpretation by the grace of God, especially where there are multiple interpretative possibilities?
First, we recall that reading the Bible fits into what God is doing: saving a people for himself. God’s purpose is to create and preserve and perfect the church. This happens as people encounter Jesus, and in God’s wisdom the place we encounter Jesus is in the Scriptures. The Father and the Son have poured out the Spirit of witness, by whom the Scriptures were written, preserved, and recognized as God’s word to the church—and by whom the Scriptures are rightly read today (John 16:13-14; 2 Peter 1:21; 2 Cor 4:14-18). In the purpose of the Father, by the power of the Spirit, we can depend on the Scriptures doing their job: bringing us face to face with the Son, God’s Word to us. This is the clarity (or perspicuity) of Scripture.
The Bible’s message is clear: God is with us—in other words, Immanuel, Jesus Christ. We interpret the parts in light of the whole, the ‘unclear’ in light of the clear. Some biblical words, phrases, verses—even whole books (looking at you, Ecclesiastes!)—are tricky to pin down. But we know that the notes they sound, however strange and even dissonant they are to our ears, must ultimately harmonize with the Bible’s great theme: the loving kindness and mercy and faithfulness of God in Jesus Christ. We call this principle ‘Scripture interpreting Scripture’.
Because Scripture is given to the church, and is for the church, interpreting Scripture is a church activity. The ‘communion of saints’ stretches across time and space. To read the Bible is to enter into an ongoing conversation with brothers and sisters throughout history and all over the world. Because the theme of the Bible is so rich and so profound, it is more than any one person or group can grasp and articulate. After all, it takes four Gospels to tell the one gospel of Jesus Christ. Other saints at other times in history or at other places in the world—or just other members of my Bible study group—may interpret the Bible in a way that would never have occurred to me, but in such a way that some new aspect of the grace of God suddenly becomes clear. This is a good gift of God, and to be received with thanksgiving.
But what about specific differences over the meaning of a passage? What about the real possibility of interpreting the Bible wrongly and destructively? “There are some things in them [Paul’s letters] that are hard to understand, which the ignorant and unstable twist to their own destruction, as they do the other Scriptures” (2 Peter 3:16).
In light of what we have already said, our default posture must be charity and optimism. Perhaps the divergence is more apparent than real, and both parties have grasped some different aspect of the fullness of God’s meaning. Making this judgement will require time and expertise.
Perhaps the difference cannot be simply resolved, but is ultimately of little consequence. We can cheerfully await the perfection of our knowledge at the return of Christ.
Perhaps the difference in understanding is significant; we do not regard each other’s interpretation as ‘a different gospel’, but nevertheless as flawed and misleading. We can no less cheerfully part ways, each with prayer for the other, to serve the one God in parallel (the different evangelical denominations represent the endpoint of this kind of process).
It may be that a misreading of the Scriptures is so grave that in it we detect the activity not of the Holy Spirit but of another spirit; we do not recognize the gospel of Jesus Christ but “a different gospel—not that there is another one” (Gal 1:6-7). Here we can only do what we must always do in reading the Scriptures: call on the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of truth, to preserve us from error and lead us and all God’s church into the truth (John 16:13).
When it comes to reading the Bible, ‘getting it right’ is beyond us. But it is not beyond the God of the gospel. ‘Right’ reading of Scripture has less to do with confidence in our technique and more to do with confidence in God’s power and goodness. As we come to our Father’s word in prayer, we can trust him that we will meet his Son, in the power of his Spirit.
